


breaths above the surface

by rain_at_dawn



Series: stars, scattered [25]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Band Fic, Complicated Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28674912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rain_at_dawn/pseuds/rain_at_dawn
Summary: 16. things you said with no space between us
Relationships: Kim Kibum | Key/Lee Taemin
Series: stars, scattered [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608877
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	breaths above the surface

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by @Paradoxiart on Twitter

Kibum opts to sit across from him at the breakfast table, with barely more than an arm’s length between him and Taemin. But Taemin figures he knows him inside and out by now; Kibum is torturing him, that much is plain for him to see.

With a flick of his eyes, aimed squarely at Taemin, Kibum denies this and takes another sip from his mug before returning to his phone. He never looks at Taemin like this when they’re alone in his room, pawing each other’s clothes off as if they were on fire. Taemin wishes he’d snuck in his own phone during last night, if only to capture the shine on Kibum’s kiss-swollen lips, gleaming with spit.

Maybe he’ll do just that soon, if Kibum insists on keeping up this act. He’d keep the phone on ‘record’ and end up with the sounds of Kibum’s filthy moans burned into his mind. That would teach him.

Taemin thinks about it later on, while he waits up late into the evening for Kibum’s return from a solo schedule. He’ll give his erstwhile lover a homecoming to remember.

It’s only ten at night when Kibum drags himself through the dorm entryway, kicking off his shoes and treading barefoot down the corridor to his own room. Through the crack in his bedroom door, Taemin eyes him as he leans his forehead against the wall and lets out an exhale.

Outside, it’s a calm spring night. Taemin decides to leave Kibum to his own devices and heads to the balcony to clear his head. Revenge could wait.

* * *

The first time he’d told Kibum when his birthday was, Taemin had received a scoff in return.

_“What do you want, a cake or something? Keep your expectations low, maknae.”_

But the cake had arrived, dotted with fifteen candles and hand-lettered frosting spelling out his name in chocolate. In the coming years, Taemin’s expectations hadn’t gotten any higher; he still cherished the store-bought cakes as much as Kibum’s dorm-made efforts. The year he’d turned 23, all he’d insisted on was a kiss when the clock struck midnight on July 18.

In the flickering candle-light, he remembers Kibum’s smile and the way the shadows twisted it both ways, cruel and pitying. He’d accepted the kiss nonetheless, opening the flood-gates to whatever it was that could be construed as an ‘affair’ in simple terms.

Barely a week later, they fuck in a hotel-room that’s at least nice enough to have freshly laundered sheets and pillowcases. Not that Taemin had given these much thought; it was always Kibum that was the fastidious one, smoothening the wrinkles out of their clothes afterwards and tucking errant strands of hair behind Taemin’s ears. He keeps his eyes fixed all over Taemin, except to meet his stare, as he goes about fixing him up.

_“You’re a dangerous thing,”_ Kibum murmurs more to himself than the intended recipient of the title. It’s more of a pity that it’s too late, Taemin thinks when he’s left alone and bitter.

* * *

The alarm on Taemin’s phone goes off right on time at four in the morning, which would allow him enough time for a quick shower and breakfast (a ripe Daegu apple accompanied by a scalding cup of black coffee) before leaving for his own self-scheduled rehearsal. On the way to the kitchen, skin still damp and warm, he pauses outside the closed door of Kibum’s room.

If he reconstructs the last night thoroughly enough, with as much needle-eyed care as he does with his solo choreos, he can recall the exact feel of Kibum’s lips, matched corner to corner against his own. He’s losing precious time, loitering like a lost puppy in the hallway, but that’s hardly a notch on the scale of years he’s already wasted craving that familiar burning touch, no matter how many times it’s left him in seared to the bone.

The beat of his heart is a violent noise inside his head.

He should’ve let Kibum have it last night, pierced him with his tongue and squeezed him tight enough to feel his ribs shatter beneath his slightest touch. The performance alone would have cut deeper than words.

Taemin waits and waits, breathes in and out, gathering and regathering himself. The minutes tick away in the distance while his plans fall on hold. He wouldn’t give Kibum the satisfaction of holding his breath for him too.

He waits long enough that his appetite wanes, yet the hunger grows inside him.

* * *

_“I dare you.”_

Taemin would have wagered that Kibum doesn’t want him to take up his offer. Kibum likes toying with the edge of a challenge; when it comes to Taemin, he knows where to leave off before things went too far, though not without leaving behind a few claw marks. Taemin can shove himself inside him as hard and fast as he can go; Kibum’s taunts drill into him like spokes on a wheel, his grimace sparkling with teeth like a devil’s grin.

It's made him want to tear it all apart and put it back together, even if the pieces don’t fit as cleanly as they’re supposed to.

_Like they’re supposed to._

Taemin lies to himself; it’s one of the few things he can’t get right, despite years of practice. He could have it easier with anyone else, the rambling sway of celebrity life notwithstanding, but he wants no other man. Kibum’s ruined most of them for him.

He keeps pushing; into Kibum, away from his own doubts. His limits both expand and shrink somehow. But Taemin keeps pushing, though there’s so little leeway that he might as well be moving backwards.

Kibum’s stare glistens in the dark. Like a pair of ripe, wet blackberries. Like two little pebbles tossed into the bottom of a witch’s well. They hold enough depth to drown in their shallows alone.

The rest of his body tightens around him.

Despite everything, Taemin keeps breathing and lets it all wash over him.


End file.
